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I settled on Charlie, a stunt comedian whose career moves him around the world spearing vegetables on spikes, escaping handcuffs, juggling sharp objects, and catching bowling balls with his face

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The glorious mess of naked art We took our time.

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Our conversation ended with him encouraging me to be creative and spontaneous.

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Luckily for us, we had tons of chemistry -- so it only took three mimosas of liquid courage and a short, surprisingly not-awkward conversation, before I felt comfortable breaking out the kit.

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I, still leaking pastel pink like a Care Bear on her period, gave myself the pep talk I reserve for the end of those rare great dates:

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I considered doing it alone, but the sad scene of myself buttered in paint and rolling around with my vibrator inspired me to immediately reactivate my Tinder account.

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