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1. They are too beautiful for you.

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The Russians basically invented space travel and just try to find another writer besides Nabokov who can seamlessly craft a grammatically sound sentence that is over a page in length?

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Every Russian girl has a pile of burned CDs she's gotten in the mail from her second cousin who lives in Moscow, and she will not hesitate to bust them out in the car.

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OK, I'm being faux-cocky here for effect, but honestly, looking at it now, most of what I wrote is true.

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Pancakes with caviar?

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For many Russian women cooking is a way to show their love, so be prepared for food experiments.

2. Loyalty is not cool.

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He says it is because there is no cabbage there.

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Her smuggled collection of Russian pop music Britney Spears?

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And money is those Louboutin shoes she saw at Nordstrom the other day, so move along please.

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You might hate most of the meals, but occasionally there will be something great e.

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But we know how to have a good time, and we know how to entertain.

Their wives followed them voluntarily to cold deserted lands and shared the punishment.

Most Russian girls don't actually sell themselves to American men for money.

Russian girls are where it's at.

Tests are different in each family.

The best example of loyalty of Russian women:

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